A while ago I read an article about 13 year olds going to discos and getting “undressed” = hot pants and white shirts buttoned up. What I think is annoying is that it’s always only about the girls and what we aren’t allowed to do or wear, not about why our looks and sexuality is ‘owned’ and judged by men. Many young girls want the boys to like them, so they say they are anti-feminists and like being pretty. Sigh.

“It’s too bad they dress like that, the boys grab them and call them whores” an adult commented. We know they ask in court “- What did you wear that night” to girls that has been raped. It’s always the girls fault. I don’t think 13-year old kids should run around in almost no clothes in public and “act like porn stars” but where do you set the limit how girls can dress? And why is it never the 13 year old boys attitude that’s up for discussion?

All my teen years I covered up in turtleneck shirts or too big clothes. I had the idea that if you had any ‘girly’ outfits you were stupid, a bimbo and probably would be called a whore and I was ’smart’, I couldn’t do anything like that! Being a “girl” was “weak” and just an object. That’s fucked up! I hated the “magazines for men” and their everyone looking the same girls who had nothing intelligent to say except they were sooo happy to be “the girlfriend of the year” or talk about how they of course didn’t care for feminism. Oh and her boyfriend was reeeeally proud as well.

My pictures people sometimes think are “provocative” or they “don’t understand why” - but they are not taken by men, not styled by men, not done just for men. It’s one way of expressing myself and everyone can think what they want of course but there are actually a lot of different pictures in my self portrait series. Everything from being sad, without make up, nerdy, happy, “sexy”, playful, bored, “smart”, playing with stereotypes… because there -are- different sides of me just like all girls. What a surprise! That one should repress and hide away yourself as a grown up is something I can’t agree with. So they don’t understand what? That I am a human being? A sexual being? Just like… um… every one of you?

I’ve been interested in sexuality and art since I was young and it always felt like something I should hide away, it wasn’t “ok”. I could talk about animal rights, feminism (without sex stuff) and refugee situations all over the world. I could read political magazines and look at serious paintings but NOT for fucks sake mention or act or show anything of my other sides. And if I did, I would just get stupid responses anyway - all these patterns we can’t pretend are easy to break.

One of the projects I want to do is a a “sexy series”, in different styles with all sorts of people I know because they also agree that the ’sexy’ bit has been kidnapped from us, either you are a bimbo or you’re smart. And if you are the least part ’sexy’ - then you must feel bad about yourself, or you’re just doing it for the guys and here comes the blame, blame, blame = boring.

I think grown ups do have to set rules for children. I think they just don’t give a shit sometimes which is a shame. 13 is very young and I don’t think they ‘get’ everything. But if you’re grown up and you do let your sexuality be a not totally hidden away part of yourself (even if most of it is still private), that you automatically become a stupid whore, that’s a problem and the solution is NOT that all girls should cover up.

I read a column today that was going on about how we all should protest and not let anyone be an “object” in any way. That’s never going to happen. We can’t pretend we aren’t objects as well as many other things. To not JUST be an object is what I think we all should be, both women and men, we are much more. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we can’t pretend we’re not drawn to certain “objects” that would be a lie. I’m a feminist, but to label ’sexy’ and ‘undressed’ as always being ’sexism’ and ‘bad’ isn’t something I agree with. I think everyone should express their different sides, and do what they want. I think everyone should be allowed to feel “fill in whatever you want here”.

The whole attitude is fucked up. That the girls always should think about what they’re wearing. The men never seem to be in the discussion, that maybe their habitual ways of thinking about women are fucked up and that they do need to respect women as human beings, no matter what they are wearing.

I can’t believe that 2008 many discussions about feminism I’ve seen online in the popular blogs in Sweden still goes like this still “Oh I hate feminists and girls that doesn’t care about their looks, feminism is just ugly girls that doesn’t shave their legs” - pathetic. I don’t give a shit if someone shave their legs or not. It’s good to not agree about every little thing and we never will but we -can- agree about a whole lot of stuff. There’s enough women-haters out there so stop hating on each other.

Teenagers I’ve talked feminism with started saying things like “If a girl was working in the woods, she could carry less wood than the male, should they still have the same paycheck? Noway! ” GET REAL! You get the point about equality, it’s not about every damn little thing you can come up with. Young boys told me “The only thing women can do well is giving birth!”. The whole attitude was that women wasn’t equal to men, where do these young people get that idea? They didn’t even seem to know themselves. Has it only to do with what we are wearing? Would these problems go away if we forbid being ’sexy’ or all girls covered up? If porn would go away? Sometimes the columns I read seem to think so, but I don’t. It annoys me again how they seem to think it’s “ok” to repress girls - in different ways. I think we should be both brains and body ’cause you know… they’re attached.

 

 

“I didn’t really discover myself sexually until my early 30’s…
and I’m sure I still have some growing to do. It’s a life-long process,
sadly stunted by our fucked society I think.
Good on you for being proactive in finding yourself…all aspects.”

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 9th, 2008 at 3:11 am and is filed under English, Politics, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.